yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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