so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize