why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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