Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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