Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
