i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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