Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
