I'm drive I can fine osifer
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
