My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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