he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize