It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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