This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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