Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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