um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize