i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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