Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
