I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
