everyone is single if you try hard enough
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
