just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You ate ashes out of my bong
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
