is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
