meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
