Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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