They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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