I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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