Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
