Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
