What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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