he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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