Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
