it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
