apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize