Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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