Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
