So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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