Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
