You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
