I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
