Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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