Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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