We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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