This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
