Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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