It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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