I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize