I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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