Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
