why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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