he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
BRING THE BAGELS
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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