tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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