I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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