I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize