where am i from again
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you win again, gameday.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
