ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
