As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
