just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
