Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
