Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
