I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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