Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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