yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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