The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
