big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
